William Shatner Was Almost President Of The United States

The writing is on the wall, Donald Trump can’t handle the pressure. However his ego won’t allow him to step down or delegate more of his power to subordinates. We’ve seen evidence of this during his recent overseas trip where he’s fumbled and bumbled like the man-child he is. I wondered how long this would continue, how long would it be before The Donald would crack, but it seems there’s no off position on the genius switch.

Donald J Trump is on the ball and has already begun coming up with some truly diabolical ideas to put himself and his presidency back on track.
Due to the ever increasing amount of White House leaks we have information regarding the latest of these plans. Although ultimately untenable, this plan, had the logistics worked out in Trumps favour, would have really turned things around.

The plan? Now brace yourself because the sheer genius of this plan will make your eyes water. Trump was going to disguise himself so he could play golf and eat burritos all day and replace himself with a heavily cosmetically altered William Shatner. According to Trump “Captain Kirk is our man, he can handle any amount of pressure. Of all the people who have ever lived he is the most like me”.

When Trump unveiled this plan in a meeting of top level staff about a week ago the room erupted in applause. A Trump aid then showed the charts and graphs to support the idea and predict that The Donald would easily secure a second term. Even members of Trump’s cabinet who were visibly looking for the door were swayed by the plan and unanimously voiced their approval to proceed immediately. There was only one thing left to do. Only one call left to make. They needed to get William Shatner himself, on board with the plan. For Shatner it would be the roll of a lifetime. “I’m going to call him right now, this is going to be tremendous” said Trump, failing to see one man stepping forward to say something. He grabbed the phone with as much fervour as he would use to grab the pussy of one of his unsuspecting victims, but before he could dial there was a deafening voice saying “hold the phone”!

It was at this moment that Trump’s communication director
Mike Dubke derailed the entire plan. “William Shatner is Canadian” he said. That statement sent shockwaves through the room turning elation to deep dismay. Trump himself was furious screaming at the top of his lungs “You can’t be captain of the USS Enterprise and be a Canadian, it’s against interstellar law”! He then turned to Mr Dubke and said “resign or be fired”, Dubke walked slowly to the door, his head hung low. Once he left the room however he was seen skipping in the White House hallways at one point allegedly leaping into the air and clicking his heels.

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